The “sandwich generation” - that’s what many caregivers are in. We have older relatives who need help and we have responsibilities to younger children, a spouse and/or a job that provides us with a living. It’s a juggling act with many hard decisions and we often drop the ball.

No one can do it all and we find ourselves trying to do everything for everyone. We have to set priorities and let go of the less important commitments. Make a list of what caregiving needs are essential and call a family meeting to discuss how and who might be able to help with these needs. If a person cannot help with personal needs, can they handle the bill paying, research what help agencies can provide, make phone visits or homemade meals? Focus on the most important of your relative’s needs.

In many instances it is their safety. Can you set up their medical visits, visiting nurse or aide? If prescriptions, injections or changing dressings is needed can you do it or find someone to do this while you work or take care of family responsibilities? Refer to previous articles for ideas for helpers.

Keep your work responsibilities and caregiving separate. I know it can be hard but if you focus on each separate responsibility in the proper time frame, it really helps you get more done. Use your lunch or break time to make any necessary caregiver phone calls. Talk to your employer about any employee assistance programs or possible time off in emergencies. Your employer is paying you to fulfill your job responsibilities and most of us need our job to provide a living.

It’s hard to take some “you” time. Superman and superwoman are fictional characters and it doesn’t do anyone any good if you fall to pieces. I found walking or losing myself in a good book cleared my mind and released stress.

I’ve been torn between all these responsibilities myself as have so many other caregivers. Talk to them and your family members. Support groups can be of great help. My husband was my strength and sounding board for many thoughts and decisions; my daughters developed into caring adults through helping and interacting with their grandparents and the great-grand brought them so much joy.

Accept help when it is offered. The one sentence that helped me the most was “People are more important than things.” Taking Mom or Dad on an outing, a dinner out with my husband and being at my daughters’ activities was way more important than - cleaning house, yard work or doing the dishes.